前天我去逛通化街夜市，經過一家叫做「Easy Shop」的內衣店，看到門口一件還不錯看的黑色胸罩，我便破天荒的第一次推門進去。我花了大約五分鐘時間，把整間店的胸罩全看過一遍後，選出唯一我喜歡的兩件，但我怎麼找，就是找不到B罩杯（相信我，我絕對只有A罩杯，但不知為何台灣的胸罩都沒有做A罩杯，店員也都跟我說我是B罩杯。英國跟法國隨便一家內衣店都有賣A還有AA罩杯咧，真奇怪）。於是我拿去問店員。店員說，「喔，這兩款沒有做B罩杯，是從C開始。」我真不敢相信我的耳朵，原來台灣女人已經發育到人人都穿C罩杯了！於是我準備要走，但店員叫我還是去試試看，我想說反正我有時間，就進了試衣間。
這一試不得了了，我真的可以穿！！因為它的襯墊簡直比我家賣的水餃還大兩倍，我站在鏡子前看著自己，看著被擠得不自然的胸部，我覺得整件事荒謬到了極點。我問店員可不可以把襯墊全拿出來，她看著我說，「不行耶，那全是一體成型的。拿不掉，而且，你為什麼要拿掉？」
原來我完全忘了我在的是一家台灣的內衣店。過去這麼多年來，我幾乎沒有在台產或日產的內衣店消費過，自從我23歲那年第一次踏上歐洲的土地以後，我就沒什麼買過台灣的內衣了，原因就是因為所有的台製內衣，只要是漂亮的，全都加上厚厚的襯墊，非要把那兩粒奶擠到下巴為止。小胸的人不可能穿上美美的蕾絲內衣，永遠只能穿嬪婷少女內衣。這麼多年來，原來台灣的內衣店，都還是這個樣子。而大部份的人那種「洋妞的奶都很大」的刻版印象，在我踏進隨便一家巴黎或倫敦的內衣店，立刻就被破除了。（其實任何去過洋人國度的人，只要你隨便觀察一下就會發現，不是每一個洋妞都是波霸，很多洋妞也是小奶都不行。唯一的差別是，洋妞的波霸都是爆奶到像籃球一樣大，但我從來沒有在路上看到那種）外國不管什麼款式的內衣，萊卡的、蕾絲的、透明的、運動的、性感的、全罩、半罩、4/3罩、1/2罩等等等，全部都從6號(XS)或AA開始，尺寸一直做到可以包住我整顆頭的阿媽號。而且絕大部份的胸罩都沒有三吋厚的襯墊。歐洲簡直是我的天堂。終於可以不必穿上木蘭飛彈假裝奶大，在悶熱的夏天也不必再忍受無敵水餃墊帶來的熱氣。
這幾年來，我買了幾件卡文克萊跟法國Kookai的蕾絲內衣，罩杯都是輕盈的1/2，光掛在那裏欣賞就覺得整個人心情愉快，但一套下來都是三四千台幣。不然就是經濟實惠的Marks & Spencer，自從他們來到台灣開了幾家店，我已經在那裏買了近十件各種各樣的內衣。他們的東西不只好穿，比起一件好看的台製木蘭飛彈蕾絲內衣價格通常三千塊，M & S的東西更是便宜到家！一套一千五有找。只可惜這家英國百貨公司大廠牌嫌台灣人消費力不夠，居然搬去大陸了。
我了解全世界的文化在這方面都是一樣的－女人的奶子就是要越大越好。東方的女人拼命擠，西方的女人拼命隆。想要有大奶，並不是台灣女人特有的願望。但是台灣內衣店這種「歹勢，這款沒有做給小奶的人」，或是「歹勢，只要妳奶小，我們就自動幫妳加上三吋襯墊，你沒有選擇」的行事風格，真是讓人不爽。在外國，這種歧視小奶的行為，絕對可以被告。難怪外國內衣店尺寸要做這麼齊，應該是被告怕了吧！
如果看倌你是個男生，看了半天還是不了解偶的心情，你只要想一下，如果全世界的保險套全是從L號開始做，保險套公司假設大家都是同一個尺寸，那真的全部的男人都可以戴嗎？！真可惜你們不能「試穿」，不然就可以體會我必須去跟店員要小size的心情。說到這我還真好奇，condom有在分尺寸嗎？
還是又回到主題好了，我的結論是，我沒有大奶，但我愛我的身體，我充滿了自信（不是因為我有美腿而自信，但我真的真的有美腿，哇哈哈）。人沒有必要像孔雀開屏一樣，四處向人展現美麗的身體，並且時時刻刻提醒自己跟別人，「你看我，我真美」。但是，對於自己有基本的自信，不亢不卑，是重要的。我教國中生英文的那幾年，我常跟那些可愛的少女們說，不要因為別人評論妳的胸部太小或太大就垂頭喪氣的走路。沒有人有權利傷害你們的感覺。如果大奶是擇偶的重要條件，那為什麼很多有大奶的人還是會分手或離婚？為什麼有很多小奶的人，還是找到理想的伴侶？真希望這個世界有時不要對女人這麼harsh（這是不可能的吧！），或者我應該說，女人啊，不應該讓別人有機會不平等的對待妳！
英文版 No bras for small boobs?
I went to a lingerie store near my place Wednesday night. It was a local shop called ”Easy Shop (isn’t that easy?!)” and that was the first time I went in there. Not that I needed anything, but I was hoping to find something interesting to try on. Surprisingly, I couldn’t find ANY bras without thick thick paddings! Moreover, quite a lot of them have only C, D and E-cups!! I grabbed a black C-cup bra and asked the staff if she had a smaller size for me, and she said no. But she stared at my breasts for a sec and told me to try it on anyways and promised it can fit me. And guess what?! It DID because the paddings were like 3 inches thick and I looked like a genuine porn star. I told the staff to remove those paddings, but she looked at me saying, ”They’re embeded.” ”You can’t removed them.” ”And, why? You need them!”
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I have to say that I was not offended at all. Instead, I couldn’t stop laughing for like one minute. I imagine wearing one of those bras to a bar, picking up a guy and going home with him. After making out for like five minutes, he’d definitely start wondering if I was the same person he saw at the bar. I think the last time I tried to buy something from a Taiwanese/Japanese place like this was like 8 years ago, so I kinda forgot how it is. I could only buy sports bras all the time because all the sexy ones don’t have smaller sizes. It’s soooo unfair! You can only be sexy when you have big boobs?!?! That’s why I started buying very expensive Calvin Klein bras because I could finally stop pretending to be a 波霸 (big-boob chick). Not until I went to Paris and London did I finally find something perfect for me. My very long journey of searching for suitable bras (more difficult than finding gold fleet) ended in western countries where I thought every woman should be a 波霸. Etam and Marks & Spencer have all kinds of bras I like and almost every item ranges from size 6 to like size 300. Most importantly, they’re much cheaper than those fancy brands!! Of course I think some western women want paddings too, but it’s always nice to have choices.
(I love going to M & S on Zhong Xiao East Road, pretending I was back in the UK. Going to M & S was my Saturday routine when I lived in Leeds. Too bad they don’t sell sandwiches/pizza/pasta here in Taipei... sniff sniff.... I miss England so much...)
I don’t really understand this padding phenomenon because apparently every culture is similar when it comes to boob sizes- the bigger, the better. I don’t know if I should say luckily or sadly, it really took me some time to get over the humiliation I’ve suffered from being called small boobs through the entire puberty. This twisted idea of needing a perfect body gives women such a hard time. It’s easier said than done to tell people to love themselves because after all we’re living in a superficial world.
Actually, it’s probably something totally not related, but I wonder what Muslim women think about paddings. Do they need any? When a woman is totally covered from face to toes, how do Muslim men see their figures?! I hope my classmate Huda will see this article and answer the question for me. I read some news last week which says a Muslim man tried to peek his wife’s face after 35 years of marrying her and having 3 children with her. So he did when his wife was taking a nap. She woke up and got furious and in the end, she wanted a divorce because of this. Crazy. I found it so hard to believe.
By the way, if i was American, I could probably sue bra companies for discrimination. Maybe that’s why they have full sizes!! Now I finally understand the whole thing.
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