空姐的一天
1、登機中空姐MM在機門口迎客，上來一位帥哥……空姐：歡迎您登機，請問您是什麼座？帥哥：我是天蠍座，你呢！空姐：真的噢，我也是天蝎座耶……後面排隊的乘客：= ="
2、登機完畢，廣播響起……空姐：女士們，先生們，歡迎乘坐本次航班，請您坐在跑道上，系好安全帶，我們的飛機馬上就要起飛了……乘客：……
3、飛機處於起飛狀態中轟鳴聲甚大，空姐A與空姐B坐在頭等倉閒聊……空姐A：看，那個旅客的鼻毛露出來了∼空姐B：聽不見，你說什麼？" 空姐A只好重複了一遍，但空姐B依然示意聽不見。 這時，旅客走了過來，向空姐B說：她說我的鼻毛露出來了！
4、飛機進入平穩飛行狀態，空姐開始送飲料空姐：太太，您好！請問要喝點什麼嗎？" 中年女乘客不好意思地說：不喝，不喝。於是空姐小聲地說：這是免費的… 女乘客：啊？免費的啊！我要一杯橙汁，一杯可樂，一杯咖啡，還要……我要把飛機票喝回來。空姐：……
5、繼送飲料中空姐：您好，請問有什麼可以幫您的嗎？旅客：能要一杯水嗎？空姐：當然可以，礦泉水嗎？旅客：有果汁嗎？空姐：有，橙汁和桃汁請問需要哪一種？旅客：有可樂嗎？空姐：有，需要加冰嗎？旅客：那給我一咖啡吧！空姐：@％¥@^&×……
6、空姐回到客艙這時，一位旅客指著窗外問空姐：小姐，這是什麼湖啊？空姐回答：咖啡壺。旅客：……
7、呼喚鈴又響了旅客：小姐，請問有指甲剪嗎？空姐：你以為我是多啦ㄟ夢啊 ?!
8、平穩地飛行，機長愉快的廣播機長：女士們，先生們，我是你們的機長，歡迎大家乘做本次航班，我想告訴大家的是……啊！天哪！不久後，廣播裡就再沒有聲音了。 這時所有的乘客都嚇話壞了，連空姐也害怕的不知所措，機艙內鴉雀無聲…… 過了好一會，廣播終於傳來了機長的聲音： 女士們、先生們，很抱歉，讓大家受驚了。剛才乘務員倒咖啡時，不小心把咖啡撒在了我的襯衣上，不信你們來看，都濕透了！乘客怒：襯衫濕了算什麼，你來看看我的褲襠！
9、供餐時間又到了，空姐開始送食品空姐：先生，我們有雞肉米飯和魚肉米飯，請問您吃哪種？旅客：排骨！空姐：先生，我們有雞肉米飯、魚肉米飯，請問您選哪種？旅客：排骨！空姐：……
10、用餐完畢，空姐開始收餐盤一個旅客指著吃得乾乾淨淨的餐盤抱怨道：小姐，你們的餐食太差了，簡直就是狗食！空姐：……空姐：靠窗的這位先生，麻煩您把餐盤遞一下好嗎？旅客：你是服務員，還是我是服務員？"很禮貌的空姐：先生！我是服務員，但我不是長臂猿！
11、飛機準備降落中飛機落地前，空姐要做好籤封工作，可是剛簽封完就有一名旅客向空姐要可樂。 空姐：對不起，我們都封了。 旅客怒：我不過就要個可樂，你們就瘋啦？空姐：……
取自電郵 如有巧合 只為博君一笑
*On the boarding
Susie, a flight attendant, stood by the entrance of the plane, and greeteda handsome man entering the cabin.
“Welcome on board. What’s your seat number?
The gentleman surprised said,“I am a Scorpio, and yours?”
Susie said, “Really, me too.”
The passengers lined up behind them were speechless.
*After all of the passengers boarded the plane, the speaker sounded.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our plane, please sit on the runway and fastenyour seatbelts. Our plane is ready to take off.”
*The plane was taking off.
The plane was roaring into the sky. Flight attendant S. and N were bothchatting in the cabin.
S said, "See,that visitor passenger’s nose hair is showing."
N shook her head,” I beg your pardon.”
Flight attendant S. raised hervoice, repeating it aloud.
Covering over her ear, shaking her head, flight attendant N. said, “Pardon me, I can’t hear you.”
In the meantime, the guy walked closely to N and said, “She said that mynose hair is showing.”
*Now, the plane was flying smoothly. It was time to serve drinks.
N: Madam, how do you do? May I have your drink order please?
A shy middle age lady said, “No, No!”
The flight attendant lowered her voice, said, “It’s free.”
“Ah! It’s free. Then I want a cup of orange juice, a can of Coke, a cup ofcoffee and more....., I want to drink my whole ticket’s worth.”The lady wasexcited.
The flight attendant,”.......”
*Continuing to serve the drinks
“How do you do, can I help you?
The traveler said, “May I have a cup of water?
“Of course, spring water?”Susie asked.
The traveler asked,“May I have a cup of juice?”
“Yes, orange juice, peach juice, which one would you like?”
The traveler said,“Do you have Coke?”
“Yes, do you need ice?”
“Give me a cup of coffee please.”
*The flight attendant returned to the cabin.
At this moment, a passenger pointed outside the window and asked,“What lakeis that?”
The flight attendant replied, “It’s a coffee kettle.”
The passenger was speechless.
The bell rang again in the cabin.
The passenger asked, “Do you have a nail clipper?”
“You thought that I was a Duo La a Dream,”The flight attendantreplied.
*The plane flew smoothly in the sky.
The captain spoke in a happy voice,
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain, welcome to flight 003. I wantto say.... Oh! my god!...” Then later, there was no more noise. All of the passengerswere so scared. The flight attendants also did not know what to do. The time stoodstill... Eventually, the captain’s voice came from the speaker.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it was a little incident. A flight attendant he hasjust accidentally poured coffee on my shirt. Believe it or not, you can come tosee my wet shirt. A passenger was very angry. He said, “It was nothing to wet yourshirt. You can come to see my crotch.”
*The flight attendants began to serve lunch.
The flight attendant asked, “Sir, the chicken rice or fish rice, which would you like?
“Rib, ”The passenger answered.
The flight attendant repeatedly asked, “Sir, the chicken rice or fish rice,which one do you choose?
“Rib”
After finishing the food service, the attendants began to push the cart toclean all plates.A passenger pointed an empty plate with his finger andcomplained about the food was so bad it tasted like dog food.”
Susie talked to a passenger who sat by the window. She asked,“Sir, couldyou hand me the plates please?”
“Are you the attendant or I am the attendant?”The man barked.
The flight attendant said very politely, “Sir, I’m an attendant but not agibbon.”
*The plane was going to land.
Before landing, the flight attendants had finished putting the serviceitems away. But at that moment a passenger asked her for a drink.
“Sorry, everything is put away.” Susie said.
The passengerwas angry and doubtful. He said,“I just want a can of Coke, and you all arecrazy?”
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